We lie in our mother’s belly. We float safe and warm. Only hear blur sounds from the world outside our shelter. It protects us. Little do we know of what awaits us. The water breaks and we get born. We scream and cry when we loose the secure surroundings. It is a brutal change, entering dry land. I don’t remember being born, but then again who does? So sad to loose a place like that in a way, because can we ever find such a place like that in our normal lives? Somewhere that can feel just as safe as our mothers belly? The water is so warm, like a loving hug. I think I have had a similar feeling as to lie in someone’s belly, floating. I don’t remember being born but I do have a first memory of water. Water has always been very valuable to me since I was a child. These thoughts bring me back to my first memorable experience with water, the day I was introduced to the big blue sea.

A summer day at my family’s country house. It was a beautiful weather. My whole family was gathered at the beach for a picnic. The sand was so hot that It hurt to walk on it. They all sat on the beach talking like grown ups always do. About who married whom, the food they had brought and how they prepared it etc. I needed some action, something fun to do. And there I was, a 3 year old who decided to go out on the dock alone. It was so tempting to go there, to have my own time discovering the landscape. I looked out at the big ocean and got curious on what could lie there in the big blue and undiscovered world. My mother called from the beach ” Kirsten, don’t go to far on the dock, don’t step towards the end. Are you listening to me?” I didn’t answer her. I knew I had to be careful. If I could just lean a little forward, it wouldn’t harm. I moved my feet just an inch closer towards the end line on the dock, staring down. The sound of the water made me so relaxed. I couldn’t help myself, I just had to look, wanting to see more. I leaned my head just a little further looking down on some little fishes swimming. I leaned a bit too much and suddenly faced the waters surface. And under I went. My eyes was wide open. It all happened so fast.

I could feel my body sinking gradually towards the bottom. Looking up I saw all the small silvery fishes glittering over my head and tiny bubbles surrounding me. It was so silent, everything went in slow motion. It was like I had discovered a magic world. I can almost remember hearing music. I felt relaxed and harmonic. What a beauty. There was a kind of silence in the water that doesn’t exist on dry land. Everything felt so soft and safe. I loved the scenery, but something told me I shouldn’t be there. Intuition I guess. I got myself upward and grabbed something by the surface. I felt like a grown up, thinking that this wasn’t so hard. I suddenly felt a very stressed almost an aggressive hand that grabbed my arm, pulled me up and made me scratch my left arm. I got irritated by this hand. Like I couldn’t take care of myself, and also it made me scratch my hand. It hurt really badly. Stupid stressful arm.

I can’t remember anything more from that day. I don’t remember what happened when I got to the beach. It was my uncle who had saved me. So weird that I remember everything before it happened and nothing after it happened. I have been told I cried and cried for a very long time, that I was hysterical, but all I can remember is how enchanting it was in the big blue.
Coming back to my present time, I look around me and see the colour of blue is surrounding me. In my room, my clothes, make-up, my jewelleries, even my shoes and perfume bottle is blue. I have always felt drawn to the colour . I went to acupuncture a while ago and she told me I should dress myself in blue clothes because it gave me energy. Every time I walk into a shop, I always spot the blue things. It’s like I get hypnotised or a magnetic force drags me towards the blue. When I look at my poems I see also that very many of my poems are about water, waves and the ocean.

Water; the essential for the survival of every forms off life. Most of the surface of earth is covered in it. We get energy from the water. Its necessary for all living beings. . Looking up on the internet I find that water is a fluid who contain many subjects. I learn fast that it’s a important part of our world and influents us in religion, politics, health industry etc etc. In religions water is considered to be cleansing and purifying. For example in the Bible we have holy water which we are baptised in. Water is where life starts and our journey as humans begin. I read on Wikipedia that blue somewhere was considered to be the colour of gods glory. Holy water and gods glory, no wonder that water and blue walk well hand in hand. Blue is very often, I would say almost always related with water.

Why do I feel so drawn to it? What is it with the big blue that makes it so special to me? Is it just because of the one experience I had or is it something else? I like what the blue colour represent to me, strength and calmness. It’s a colour so filled with emotions, like the water. Water is such a mysterious element. It’s like facing the sky and the ocean and everything between. I love to look at it. It makes me relaxed, gives me nutrition.

To me the colour is ennobled. It’s like I try to “see” the colour for what it really is. Trying to se if there is more then meets the eye. Perhaps I wish I was that colour with the same qualities, or maybe I have recognised something within myself and we reflect each other like a mirror. Perhaps it reflects a memory of something safe and magic. A memory of life in the big blue. Or maybe this was my baptism to the world and nature, to welcome me to life and cleanse me.